How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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