if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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