quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
