I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
