He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
