I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
