Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
