Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
