i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
