he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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