Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Me too!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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