uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
