Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
