I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
