Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
