Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
