Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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