Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
