I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
oh god the rape fog is back!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
