i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Enjoy the penises
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
