I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
