I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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