why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
