I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
