I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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