he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
