no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My life is pants optional.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
