That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
