party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
