Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
