i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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