it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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