I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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