Kiss
Puke
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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