sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
