I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
do nipples grow back?
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