I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
