He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
