I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
