The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
