And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
kristin has been a bad kristin
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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