Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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