that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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