woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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