Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
