Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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