Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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