I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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