youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
