Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
