She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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