..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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