At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
