wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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