Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Randomize
